How to attract high vibe friends
Do you ever feel like your friends just don’t “get” you?
Or maybe you’re sitting there feeling like you don’t really have many genuine friendships that support and empower you or have the same crazy and wild ideas as you…
If you’re nodding your head right now, you’re SO not alone! Many women feel like this, especially those of us who work from home or are trying to start up our side hustles, or diving deep into our personal development. Lacking in the friendship department says nothing about who you are as a person or friend, it’s often simply a matter of circumstance.
When you make a significant shift in your life, or maybe start heading down a less conventional life path, people around you won’t always support what you’re doing. Know that this is very normal - when they see you living your new and exciting life, it’s challenging their own path and current beliefs! Or maybe you’re simply just growing and improving, and they’re resistant to doing the same for themselves.
It’s highly likely your current friends want the best for you, but most people act from a place of their own fears and insecurities, which can turn into judgements, negativity, or just general lack of support when you need it. Unfortunately this isn’t very helpful for you if you’re craving deep soulful connection and friends who support and lift you up in life.
The good news is that it doesn’t have to end here. Today I’m going to talk about how to attract new, amazing, high vibe friends into your life who completely understand and support you! People who have the same vision as you for their future. People who have the same values and interests as you. People who challenge you to stretch, grow and become your best self. Last but not least… people who will be in your life for ever, people to grow old with, experience magic moments with throughout all the life phases… these people will be your people - forever.
So what do we mean when we’re talking about attracting more high vibe people into our lives? Let’s start by defining what a high vibe friend really is.
What is a high vibe friend?
If someone is “high vibe” they are growth-minded, energetic and enthusiastic about life, they’re kind and generous, and they’re the type of person who lifts you up and spreads positive energy wherever they go.
If I think about the high vibe friends I have in my life, they call me out on my BS in a loving way, they forgive me when I do or say something silly, they understand me at my best and at my worst, they challenge me to be better, do better and act out of integrity. They inspire me to be a better human and to be empowered and live a life at a constant high frequency.
They hold space for me no matter what. They ask me how I am and whats going on in my life (they’re not self consumed and just talk about themselves 24/7). We share things we’re learning and teach each other new and fascinating things and my favourite part of all, they evolve and grow with me and are excited to combat challenges together, hand in hand.
If you’re running your own business, maybe a high vibe friend for you is someone who also understands the business journey, who’s open minded, and interested in personal development and learning new things.
Something important to remember too is sometimes you’ll have friends who dont own a business, but they can still be high vibe! Its important to not leave those amazing people out just because they aren’t following the same journey as you if you are an entrepreneur … more on how to figure this out soon!
These are two of my many high vibe friends, Jess and Sophie. We hired a car in San Fransisco once and drove all the way down to LA and it was the best frekin time ever. Good tunes, girly chats, belly laughs, business talk, yummy food and not a worry in the world. This was a sunset we pulled over for that was NEXT LEVEL.
Take a second and think about someone you know who just has that energy or vibe about them. Maybe it’s a friend or family member or maybe it’s someone you’d LIKE to be friends with - this could be someone you look up to, or even someone who you watch on social media.
Whoever has come to mind for you, think about what it is that draws you in to them, and why they make you feel uplifted.
Write those qualities down - we’ll come back to this later.
First, there’s something important that most people forget when looking to attract new high vibe people into their circle…
And it’s that YOU must also be a high vibe friend if you wish to attract new people like that into your life.
When you think about it, high vibe attracts high vibe.
So instead of looking externally to begin, let’s start with how you’re showing up right now.
How to be a high vibe friend:
This next part might irk or trigger some, if it does, its most probably because you consciously or subconsciously recognise some of the following words I talk about.
Please stick with me! I promise, it might be uncomfortable realising this stuff but this will totally reshape your life & your circle of influence. I promise (growth is never comfortable… right?!).
I have chats with many of women who really struggle with attracting the right people into their lives and what they can’t see is that sometimes (and I say this with total love in my hear… but just sometimes) they’re a little bit of a neg ferret, they don’t vibrate at a high frequency themselves, they dont post inspiring content to attract those people in and all they talk about is whats wrong with the world, why they’re so unhappy, whats not going right in their lives & they dont focus on anything positive around them.
It’s no wonder they are having difficulty attracting the right people in! High vibe people don’t want to hang out with negative Nancy’s.
I know I don’t! I avoid being around these types of people at all costs. My energetic boundaries are VERY clear to me & I can assure you all high vibe people protect their energy very cautiously too.
So my first question for you is. How are you showing up for people around you?
Are you bringing the energy, the positivity, and lifting others up?
This is another high vibe friend of mine Lozzie. We met on instagram! We instantly connected on all the similar interests and values we both hold and so we met up for breakfast one morning and have been besties ever since! Now we not only do business together but life too & its the best feeling having someone in your life you know has your back no matter what, at your best and at your worst. People like this on social media actually do exist, and our friendship is proof! You just have to put yourself out there :)
Or are you letting doubts, judgements, and negative energy cloud your interactions?
Regardless of how other people show up for you, in order to level up YOU must make the first move.
Here are a few tips on how to be a high vibe friend right now:
Don’t gossip or focus on negative topics of conversation.
Don’t initiate conversations about others or about things that bring the energy down. Small minds converse about other people. And if the conversation goes to a negative place, politely redirect the convo and encourage a more positive topic. Examples of this includes touchy topics around politics, drama, gossip, mainstream media news (yep … its so negative and I don’t know about you but I do not care about whats happening on the News!) or talking down about others. There are so many positive things to talk about, so why bring these things up?Share honest and genuine compliments often, and listen intently when others are speaking.
Make others feel like they matter by really listening to them when they talk. Dont start thinking in your mind what you’re going to say next, actually listen. Ask others questions about them, become passionately curious about their lives. Make them feel heard and respected in all situations. And compliments are always a great way to make someone feel warm and fuzzy, as long as you’re being genuine.Don’t judge others.
Instead of making snap judgements, aim to understand why others behave the way they do and support them if they need it. Show up for others the way you’d like them to show up for you. One of my high vibe friends Kate has taught me to always assume the best in others in all situations, dont pre-judge, dont make up scenarios or stories in your head… just assume the best of others at all times and its been one of the most amazing gifts Kate has given me to date!Be yourself!
Always aim to be your true authentic self when interacting with other people. Show up as open and vulnerable, as this will encourage authentic connection with others (and most likely attract other high vibe people too!). Dont try to be someone you’re not just to fit in. If you’re weird and quirky … be weird and quirky! If you’re quiet and shy, thats ok be you! Its so hard to be someone you’re not, but most importantly its just so obvious when others try so hard to be someone they’re not. Dont worry… your people will show up when you be perfectly you.
Now let’s get in with some tangible actions you can take to attract new high vibe friends.
How to attract high vibe friends:
Step 1: Let go of limiting beliefs and negative self talk.
If you focus on how lonely you feel, or how you don’t currently have the friends you want, or the man / girl of your dreams yet, you’re just going to attract more of those negative vibes! Like attracts like, so it’s time to shift your own energy to attract positive people into your life.
One way to do this is to write a list of all your good qualities…. Why would someone want to be your friend?
Maybe you’re:
Fiercely loyal to people you care about
Reliable and trustworthy
Always up for a good belly laugh and can crack a good joke
Caring, compassionate and understanding
Positive, uplifting and always down for an empowering chat to allow others to see their greatest potential
You’re open and honest with a heart full of love to give
You’re collaborative and don’t have a competitive bone in you’re body, you believe theres enough success for everyone - including your amazing friends.
Don’t hold back here, now is not the time to play small - list everything you can think of that makes you a good friend or a good person to be around.
Step 2: Be specific about what you want in a high vibe friend.
Now it’s time to set an intention about the kind of people you want to attract into your life.
I am SO intentional with the friends I keep in my circle of influence. Truthfully, I have a small inner circle but I’ve chosen to do this on purpose because for me its all about quality over quantity. Im not the type of person that calls everyone “my best friend”. The friends I do have are all the best, and I am very mindful of who I share my energy and time with.
In saying that, I am always open to making new friends and so I love to socialise and meet new people & if we get along well and vibe at the same frequency, I love to let new people in!
Also, not all my friends are business owners like me. Just because I’m an entrepreneur who loves challenge, growth and personal development, doesn’t mean I cut out everyone around me who doesn't fit in that box. In saying that, as I grew my business I did remove certain people from my circle… let me explain why…
Before I owned my company, I was a nurse and my friendship circle was a mixture of my old school friends, gym friends, my new work friends & other people from around the traps, like going out and partying, friends of friends from parties & the likes :)
Then when I entered the world of business life I obviously made new friends. People I had met at seminars, conventions, business events and so on. So my circle began to expand.
All of a sudden my circle of influence were made up of next level go getters, people who were interested in wealth creation & who spoke about having a vision and a mission to serve others. It inspired me so much! So I began to evolve and think differently. Next thing I knew instead of partying I would spend my weekends working on my business and saving money to re invest into it.
So naturally my partying friends were phased out, thats just evolution! As we grow into different phases of our lives, this happens.
Then as my self worth began to increase and I started to realise the gifts I had that I could share with others, I started to notice people in my friendship circle who didnt really honour that or respect that. Not all my friends, but some.
They would be hard to get a hold of, wouldn’t return my texts or calls, they’d cancel last minute plans, they’d stop inviting me to events & so on… I just knew, I deserved better. So naturally, without any emotion those friendships began to fade away too. I still love them and wish them all the best, I just choose not to share my life with those people. If I saw them on the street I would hug them and have a chat, but you know… you are the average of the top 5 people you hand around SO, I just choose wisely who I spend my time with now.
When my friendship circle starts to shift and change, I had a really hard think about the people who supported me always even if they wernt’t business owners, who still were positive, who still were high vibe and who still valued me even though I had moved from one phase of life to another, they always had my back. I realised I still had so many beautiful friendships in my life outside of my business world and to this day those friendships are still in my life and they mean the world to me.
So when setting any intention, it’s important to be specific. Grab that list you wrote earlier on all those qualities you noticed in someone you identified as being high vibe. We’re going to add to the list.
This is another high vibe gf of mine, Kate, who I spoke about earlier. She is such a light in my life and I love her to bits. We laugh, we cry, we share and we collaborate and to me thats the best type of friendship anyone could ever ask for.
Instead of thinking about that one person, broaden your list to include ALL the qualities you want in a high vibe friend.
Who are they as a person?
What do they like to do?
Where do they hang out?
What do they stand for?
How do they treat you (or not treat you)?
How do they treat others?
How do you spend time together as friends?
What do they like about YOU as a friend?
Write it all down, and be very specific. Be sure to write everything as if you already have it.
For example:
My friends ARE open, honest, and trustworthy.
My friends ARE supportive of my business.
My friends and I travel around the world doing what we love together.
My friends and I hang out in vegan cafes and enjoy working out together
This makes sure you will attract more of these positive things, instead of accidentally attracting more of the negative qualities you don’t want!
Step 3: Be proactive.
Setting your intention is the first step, now it’s time to take action on those high vibe friends!
Start with where they hang out. If those places aren’t already where you hang out, try starting there! Go to events and conferences they might go to, sign up for challenges they would sign up for, join Facebook groups they would be in, follow them on Instagram and interact (dont forget thats how I met Loz).
It might seem silly at first, but it’s crucial to put yourself in situations where you can actively meet new high vibe people. It’s not enough to sit back and hope someone knocks on your door - that’s never going to happen!
Ok, so now you’re hanging out where they are (both in person and online) it’s time to step into your amazing high vibe self and actually approach them.
Start conversations with people who seem high vibe, reach out to them online, say hi to people when you’re out and about, and most importantly, show up as a high vibe friend from the very start!
Be open with new people you meet, and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and connect with them on a personal level. Show up with the positive, kind, and happy energy you wish to attract! I remember when I invited Lozz out to breakfast, we had never met in real life! We had only spoken over IG DM’s… I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous to meet her. She was this gorgeous, funny, upbeat and friendly girl on IG who I thought was sooooo nice. I wondered if she would like me in the car as I parked my car but I’m so glad we met up because its been one of the greatest gifts having her in my life. So go for it! What’s there to lose?
I have so many more high vibe friends I can add pictures of in this blog! This is another girlfriend of mine I seriously cherish dearly. She has been my friend since year 5!! We have travelled all around the world together, been there through every heart break, phase of life & still to this day we have the funnest time together. This was us in Japan last year we spent a week snowboarding in Hakuba, then went to Tokyo and had the best frekin time eating food, shopping, exploring, laughing and partying. Its friendships like these I am so grateful for. People who love you for you, and visa versa :)
At the end of the day, all friendships are a balance of give and take.
If we’re constantly waiting for other people to come to us, or for things to magically fall into place in life, we’ll most likely end up pretty disappointed…
If you want more genuine, high vibe friendships in your life, it starts with you.
I really encourage you to start today by seeking out a few places online your ideal friend would be hanging out in, and to start engaging with others in those places.
If you follow all the steps in this post, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the beautiful high vibe friends who start showing up in your life in serendipitous ways!
I hope this has served you, please let me know what you thought & what steps you will be implementing by commenting below.
All my love,
Chani x